Knowing
by UCLAisinLosAngelesxo
Summary: Because perhaps she had always known. Jacob/Bella pairing with a side of Edward.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone : )! Wow, am I really writing a new story? And a TWILIGHT one, at that?! Well, shocking as it is… I am. Now, I have to warn you that New Moon has turned me pro-jacob. Not because of his looks (though he is insanely attractive) but because seeing exactly what took place and how it affected Bella never really struck me when I was reading. Seeing the movie showed me that Jacob was there for her more then Edward was, and he just seems to make a better match. So this will be pro-jacob. Yay!**

She wasn't quite sure when the realization first hit her.

When forced to point to one exact moment in time, she would have to say it occurred one stormy night, about two months after Edward's return. She had been dreaming restlessly, her whimpers and cries filling the once empty air.

Her nightmares were plagued with visions of wolves and vampires. Heated battles between fire and ice. She was torn- who would she save?

Bella Swan had woken in a cold sweat that night, desperately seeking warmth. The first sight that met her sleepy eyes was Edward. Pale, strong, and… cold. She had reached for him in that moment, temporarily forgetting his state of being.

The shock of his skin against hers had been like a bucket of water thrown onto her. Frowning, he asked her what was wrong.

She had known exactly what was happening. He could never offer her what she needed and desired.

He was the moon, Jacob the sun. While both are beautiful, one emitted light and warmth. It sustained life, striving to nurture and help others to grow. His brightness gave a sense of peacefulness and security.

The other was spectacular, a sight to behold. Decievingly beautiful. The dark was its calling, the place where it shone best. When the moon was out, the world seemed to disappear. It was difficult to see clearly. However, you could only marvel over it for a short time, before realizing that all it would ever be was _rock._ It was cold, lifeless. Nothing could grow from it, and in the twilight, when your eyes adjusted to the dark, you saw images just out of your reach. Your eyes could never adjust enough for you to see completely clearly, and, one could say—_you were left in the dark. _The moon was no place to live.

Eventually, however, the sun would return, clearing your vision and allowing you to see beyond the darkness.

And Bella liked the view.

She needed shelter, and a home. She wanted a family. Most of all, she wanted to be _alive_.

The rays of the moon cast shadows upon her walls, and she knew what needed to be done.

Turning, she had smiled sadly at Edward, not bothering to hide the stains on her cheeks. This would be hard, she had no doubt. But she had faced worse before.

Namely saying goodbye a certain half-wolf two months earlier.

Edward had cocked his head, giving her a questioning and worried glance as his line of vision traveled to the tears on her face.

"You know, it's times like this when I wish I could read your thoughts, Bella. What is making you so upset?" He asked, pursing his lips. He had raised his hand to her cheek then, and she had pulled away.

And it was then that he knew.

His emotions changed so quickly she was almost sure she didn't see it happen. From confusion, to betrayal, to sadness, to being utterly calm. He sat as the stone he was.

_After all, hadn't he seen this coming?_

"I'm so sorry."

Those three words were all it took for his composure to break. He had leapt towards her, carefully cradling her. As he felt her shivers below his body, he mourned what could never be.

"I need you to know, I never meant for this to happen. I love you, Edward. I really do." Her voice was quiet— broken.

"Is there nothing I can do? " He had responded, already knowing her answer.

"No."

He had nodded then, regret filling his entire being. _He had wanted this for her, hadn't he?_

Deep down, Edward Cullen was a selfish man, and he knew no matter how much he loved her and thought she deserved more, he wanted her to stay with him. But she needed a better life, and he needed to move on with his.

_If you could call it a life at all._

He needed to leave before he destroyed her room. He had to leave behind everything and run. Run as far as he could and then keep running still.

"Well then, goodbye, Bella Swan." The words were not entirely foreign. By the nodding of her head, he knew she felt it too.

"Goodbye, Edward Cullen." He had stood to leave, and turned to her one last time. He needed to memorize her face, though he knew he would never forget it. Bella had smiled at him once more, before uttering her final words to him.

"Thank you for loving me."

He had disappeared forever then, and she had cried. He would not return. She had cried until she didn't think she could cry anymore. She sobbed because she knew, deep down, she had made the right decision.

But that didn't mean she couldn't mourn what she had lost.

* * *

Days had passed, and finally she knew it was time to go to Jacob.

She wanted to see the sun again.

He had welcomed her with a trademark grin, questioning why he hadn't seen her in so long.

"I was figuring some stuff out." She had said with a small smile.

He returned it with a beam of his own. His whole face radiated heat and adoration.

"Well I'm glad you're back, Bells. I was starting to miss my best friend." The teasing look on his face assured her that he had missed her a lot more then he let on.

"I missed you too." She spoke the words easily, and walked forward into his open arms without looking back once. Her body was flooded with much-awaited warmth as he whispered the words she had been longing to hear for over longer then she had even realized herself.

"Welcome home, Bells."

Because, in the end, home was wherever Jacob was. It had taken an eclipse for her to see it, but the sky had cleared and for the first time she could see clearly.

So maybe she wasn't exactly sure when she had realized it.

But then again, perhaps she had always known.

**Eh, I don't like it that much. It's 2 AM here so I'm kind of out of it. Maybe I'll edit it in the morning haha.**

**Well, thanks so much for reading, and I always love reviews!! Seriously, they make my days a bit more bearable.**


	2. New Name

Hey guys! I've changed my pen name to** UCLAisinLosAngelesxo** in light of my recent love for St. Berry in Glee.

Hope this causes no problems, and make sure to check out and spread the word to those who might be interested about my new challenge!

Much love,

UCLAisinLosAngelesxo


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